It's late at night and there's a storm at sea. The winds are howling, and a ship full of rough fishermen are scared. They're rowing against the wind, trying to stay afloat, wondering if they are going to make it to shore.
Suddenly, one of them points to something out in the distance. The others follow his finger to a shadowy figure hovering over the water. Wait, it's not hovering. It's moving directly toward the boat. This boat full of rough sailors begins to scream like little girls. AHHH! A ghost!
Peering over the side of the boat, Peter suddenly hears Jesus' voice. Wait a minute. It's not a ghost; it's Jesus. "It's alright! I'm here!" Jesus calls out.
Now Peter could've left it at that. He could have sighed with relief and wonder and chalked it up as another incredible feat of this miracle man, but he didn't.
Perhaps Peter's mind was filled with the amazing miracle he had witnessed earlier that evening when he had seen Jesus take an afternoon snack and transform it into dinner for over five thousand people. Perhaps Jesus' challenge to the disciples, when they suggested that the people should go home and eat, was still ringing in his ears. "You feed them." Rather than believe in the power of Jesus, the disciples had just looked at each other in disbelief. "How are we going to that with just a little bread and some fish?"
With this embarrassing display of faithlessness still fresh in his mind, Peter wasn't going to be ashamed again. If it really was Jesus (and not a ghost!) out there, Peter was going to show him that he had faith this time. Peter cries out, "Lord, if it is you. Tell me to come to you on the water!"
The wind howled. Rain blinded him. But he heard Jesus' voice loud and clear: "Come on."
One leg over the side of the boat, then the other. No time to think, just go. Waves beat against him, but he's not sinking. He's gliding on the water. It's working. He's doing it. . . He's walking to Jesus. He's passing the faith test.
But the waves are so high; the wind so strong. Fear sinks in and pulls him down into the water. But Jesus is there instantly, pulling him up out of the water and into the safety of the boat. Then and only then, the wind stops. The lake becomes a smooth mirror reflecting the pale moon.
Then the entire boat bursts out in praise. If they didn't believe before, they certainly believe now. Jesus is the Son of God.
But Peter sits in the bottom of the boat in a puddle of water. He is still thinking about Jesus' words to him as He reached out and saved him from a one-way trip to the bottom of the lake: "You don't have much faith. Why did you doubt me?"
"You don't have much faith" is an observation, but it must have hurt Peter. His rating on the faith-o-meter ranked somewhere between a pinch and a smidgin. He's not going to be voted the most faith-filled disciple any time soon.
"Why did you doubt me?" I'm pretty sure Jesus means this as a rhetorical question. He's not really looking for an answer. He just wants Peter to mull it over a little bit. "What's holding you back from completely trusting in me?" he queries.
Let's leave Peter shivering in the bottom of the boat for a moment and fast-forward to Matthew chapter 15, where a Gentile (!) woman (!!) is praised for her faith. Ouch! That had to hurt the egos of Peter and his macho Jewish friends.
But wait, there's more. In verses 32–39, once again there's a crowd of people to feed. Certainly this time the disciples will remember the miracle Jesus performed before. Certainly they'll believe that Jesus will provide for the crowd. Nope. Once again, Peter and the disciples are throwing their hands in the air. "Where would we get enough food out here in the wilderness?" they ask Jesus.
But don't count Peter out just yet. In Matthew 16 Jesus asks his disciples who they think he is, and Peter is first one to pipe up, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." Then Peter gets some awesome affirmations from Jesus. Jesus blesses him and gives him a glimpse into how he will used to further the kingdom of God.
Back to Peter in the bottom of the boat. Think about this: no one else even attempted to get out of the boat. Just a few hours before, Peter had refused to believe that Jesus could provide food for thousands of people. Now his eyes were open to the possibility of what he could do with God's help. In Peter's water-walking (or perhaps water-falling), there is spiritual progress. His faith had grown a little.
Jesus doesn't see Peter's failure as permanent, but as an part of a journey. Jesus makes an honest judgement when he says, "You don't have much faith." There's not much, but there's some. That means there is room for growth. Then Jesus poses a question to help Peter get to the crux of his unbelief. "Why did you doubt me?" I like the fact that the verb is past tense. It's not "Why do you doubt me?" It's almost like Jesus sees the doubt as something that happened in one instance, but he doesn't consider it a continual part of Peter's life. Jesus is already looked ahead to Peter's faith growing and increasing.
Maybe in your life right now you can totally relate to Peter curled up in the fetal position in the bottom of the boat. You were in the middle of the storm, and you stepped out in faith. You gave it your best shot, but the wind was too strong. You sank. This isn't the end of your story. Keep on learning from Jesus. Keep reading the Word and praying. You can't see what the next chapter in the book is, but it might be a faith triumph.
Like Peter, take the opportunity to learn from failure. Take the time to ponder those hard questions: Why do I doubt? What is holding me back from completely trusting God? Someone said that we learn more from failure than we ever learn from success. Instead of running from the shame and disappointment, ask God to forgive you and heal the broken places.
Remember that when Jesus got back into boat, the storm instantly disappeared and everyone in the boat worshiped him. In your struggle, remember to praise the God who rescued you even when you deserved to sink.
I wonder if later when they were safely on shore, the disciples didn't give Peter a rough time about his walk that turned into a swim. And I wonder if Peter didn't later come to realize that what appeared to be a huge failure was the first step to deep faith.
Don't let that sinking feeling get you down. Keep on getting out of the boat and walking toward Jesus.
No comments:
Post a Comment